Be

When reflecting on a memory, certain people can remember all sorts of meaningless specifics: the day of the week, time of day, maybe even the clothes being worn.

My brain’s limbic system fails to operate this way. In the majority of the small, minute moments that have made an imprint on my life, it always comes back to the words. Others’ words easily inspire and leave a lasting mark on me, which brings me to one particular memory from a few summers ago, when I was sitting in the living room of my best friend’s house.

Ben’s mother had just returned home after getting a small tattoo on the inside of her wrist. I asked her what design she had opted for, and I remember feeling taken aback by her response and ensuing explanation.

Forever carved into her eternally summer-tanned skin, Mrs. Sibson received two letters:

B and E.

On the surface level, if you’re familiar with the wonderful Sibson clan, you know that Ben and Elizabeth are the two children. So obviously, B and E stand for the first initials of her children’s names.

But behind so many of the tattoos in the world, a deeper meaning exists. When put together, the two letters form one simple -- but very, very powerful -- word:

“BE.”

When she addressed this second meaning, I asked for further clarification. I’m paraphrasing, but she responded with this, something I’ll never forget:

“How often do you just be in the moment? Like truly, just be. How often do you just eat a chocolate bar and slow down and enjoy every single bite? Like follow its whole journey -- from first bite through the moment it dissolves in your mouth?

And thus, Ben’s mother introduced me to the underutilized and underappreciated concept of mindfulness.

Be.

The message is so simple. But living in and savoring the moment is becoming increasingly difficult for all of us.

We’re entrenched in a competitive and caffeinated world oversaturated with glowing screens and ephemeral, endorphin-releasing experiences everywhere we turn. We spend so much time looking forward that we forget to embrace the now.

To present an example from my professional life, let’s look at LeBron James. James, who will end his career as the greatest basketball player ever, just enjoyed (arguably) the best season of his career at the age of 33.

Rather than celebrate this as the season unfolded, sports debate circles centered on James’ upcoming summer free agency decision. Even in the midst of one of the greatest regular season/postseason performances we’ve ever witnessed, everything always came back to which city James would call home next season.

And that’s no way to live.

To shine a light on my own life, I lived this way for my first few months in Connecticut, a slap in the face to Mrs. Sibson and her sage message. The second I walked through ESPN’s doors, I wondered what was next. Where will my next job be? How will this job prepare me for that next one? Where am I going to live next? Where will I be in five years?

I asked myself all of these questions, constantly. Feelings of anxiety overwhelmed me as I  searched for unattainable answers. It wasn’t until a few months in that I decided to make a change. In January, I committed to doing the best job I possibly could and trusted that my determination, optimism, charisma and natural abilities would get me from A to B. Believe in those characteristics, I told myself, and everything will fall into place.

So that’s one broader way of how I practice mindfulness. If we can commit to it, I promise it’s a liberating experience. However, to truly reap its benefits, mindfulness requires our full engagement. So on a more micro-level, how else do I go about basking in the moment?

When my job schedule allows me to do so, I wake up early -- anywhere from 6 to 7 a.m. I interact with my phone only long enough to shut off its alarm. Then, I immediately put it in airplane mode. The average work day doesn’t start until 9 a.m., so I don’t owe anyone an answer until at least then. If it’s an emergency, you’ll find a way to contact me.

After enjoying every bite of a hearty and nutritious homemade breakfast -- three eggs, a ton of vegetables and a big bowl of oatmeal nearly every morning -- I go outside, close my eyes and take in the natural sounds of the world around me. Silence fills the air but speaks louder than any words I’ll hear later in the day.

In all of these writings, I want to make it clear that I’m not perfect. I struggle with many of the same dilemmas you do every day. Mindfulness requires so much brain power and discipline. When I meditate, my mind drifts almost instantly to unchecked mundane tasks on my to-do list. It’s very difficult to bring myself back, but I always try.

When you apply mindfulness to your own life, it will not be a facile experience. But nothing worth accomplishing ever comes easily. So commit to it and don’t get upset. It will be uncomfortable at first, but it is only in times of discomfort that we make improvements.

It may seem like an abstract philosophical concept -- the art of living intentionally and in the moment -- but I promise, it’s not. To simplify it, reduce mindfulness to two letters.

BE.

Troy Farkas is an aspiring writer. You can follow him on Twitter and Instagram @tfark04.

x