Most of us spend our entire adult lives looking for permanency. We want situations that can last for extended periods of time, ones that allow us to forgo the uncomfortable experience of adjusting to new situations. We seek comfort and security, and we’re failures if we wish for anything different.
When we set out in search of a partner to share all of life’s triumphs and travails with, it’s impressed upon us that we must commit to that person for the rest of our lives, that we must cede our freedom of choice and toss aside the notion of freewheeling dating forevermore.
When we do anything, whether it’s house hunting, finding the right gym, or even something as nonsensical as choosing a sports team to cheer for, we do so with the intention of marrying it for the long haul, because society demands that all decisions must be predicated on long-term stability. If we remove ourselves from our commitments, then we’re labeled as quitters, a title we work relentlessly to avoid at all costs.
However, the alarming levels of dissatisfaction across all areas of people’s lives can trace their roots to the very fact that people feel trapped -- in marriages, car leases, debt, contracts, memberships, magazine subscriptions and more -- in situations they cannot possibly remove themselves from. Those binding agreements suffocate us, preventing us from seeking out more appealing and fulfilling opportunities.
That’s why I’m not in search of permanency. Not a fan of the city I’ve lived in for eight months? Great, I’ll move somewhere more suitable to my needs. Bored and/or complacent at this job I’ve held for two years? No problem, I’ll go find another one somewhere else that challenges me. If I’m truly unhappy with the outcome of a decision I’ve made, I should have the agency to be able to pick up and start anew. “Sticking it out” to avoid criticism for your choices is pointless.
Some may view this as a capricious way to live. On the contrary, I think it’s irresponsible to feel obligated to adhere to a certain circumstance or dogma for decades at a time. Am I not allowed to alter my values and beliefs? Can I not develop new preferences over time?
I find the embracing of change to be a noble pursuit. The transient nature in which I hope to live isn’t based on erratic decision-making, but rather on hours of calculated research and self-reflection regarding what I desire most. If I make a short-term decision that fails to meet my expectations, then putting out that small fire requires far fewer gallons of water than it would to extinguish the conflagration produced by a long-term decision gone awry.
We shouldn’t make life-changing decisions based on what’s best for us in the long-term. Instead, if we merely stack up beneficial short-term decisions over and over again, then we’ll arrive at the same “happy” place the other route is supposed to provide.
Except, by subscribing to this method, we’ll have a much greater chance of actually achieving it.
x
No comments:
Post a Comment