Mindset

Today, I want you to remove a word from your vocabulary. Forever. Rip its page out of the dictionary, stomp on it, and then burn it in your fireplace.

It’s a word we all say multiple times every day. We say it so much we don’t even notice it. And the one thing I hadn’t considered until recently was this:

We never say the word with a smile. It’s typically followed by a groan. Or a yawn. Or that emoji with the rolled-over eyes, never an exclamation point.

But yet, we dedicate so much of our lives to that one word. And today, I want you to stop using it.

Say it with me. Because this is the last time I want to ever heard this word leave your lips.

Work.

OK.  Hear me out.

I came across a book recently (Everything That Remains) that suggested we stop saying this word, because it rarely connotes anything but negativity. Let’s be honest. If you’re a camp counselor, lifeguard, lawyer, accountant, or pizza delivery boy, you always roll your eyes when you say you’re going to w***.

If you’re a student, do you really enjoy doing your homew***? Doesn’t w***ing out at the gym seem more like a chore than a leisurely activity?

I eliminated this word from my vocabulary a few weeks ago, and I’ve noticed a profound change on the way I look at things.

For me, my mindset is everything. I’m constantly evaluating it and searching for inspiration so that I can become a bastion of positivity and use that to influence others and brighten up people’s days. When I used to say I was headed to w***, it just created a series of boring, mundane images in my head. And that made me boring.

I’m going to the office. I’m going to sit. I’m going to check e-mail. And then do it again 10 minutes later. I’m going to type. I’m going to consume, not create. And I’ll do this for 8-10 hours until I leave and get ready to do it again the next day. To me, that’s what the w-word represented.

But the game has changed now. Fortunately for me, I earn a paycheck from an amazing company that I’m proud to say I get to go to every day. I’m 22 years old, and my education and experience has landed me at ESPN for the time being. I know that sounds like bragging, but I don’t intend it to be. But how frickin’ cool is that?

“Troy, what are you up to today?”

“Oh, nothing crazy.. I’ll go for a walk, probably listen to a podcast or read a book, check a few things for my job, exercise some more, make an awesome breakfast and dinner, and then I’ll head off to ESPN for the night.”

I answer with something like that now. And it’s made a world of difference in my happiness. Because it reaffirms to me every time how lucky I am to have this job. It doesn’t even feel real when I say it. As I said in my first post, ESPN was never a dream of mine, but I’m still stoked to be here. And I remind myself of it every day. What I do for a living isn’t my passion or my dream job, but it’s certainly fun and I enjoy it, which is probably the case for many of you. I promise, if you make this subtle--yet important--change to your vocabulary, you won’t find yourself stuck in that rut you often do.

I always believe in going the extra mile, so let’s not just stop at one word. Now, I want you to reconsider a phrase. A question, rather. You can still say it, but I want you to stop and really think about this question and what it means. I also came across this in that same book I referenced earlier.

Now, I want to conduct a thought experiment. Let’s go with a classic scenario.

You’re accompanying your partner to the office holiday party. You’re just there for support, and you don’t really know anyone.

Think of the first question someone asks you.

“Oh, hi (insert name). It’s nice to meet you. What do you do?”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too, I’ve heard a lot about you. Good things, of course. To answer your question, I’m an architect and I’ve designed a lot of buildings in the area.”

Stop. Think about this exchange before reading on.

You’ve just established yourself as an architect. And nothing else.

That’s it. Architecture literally defines you. You eat, sleep, and breathe designing buildings. You really don’t do anything else.

Unless you really do, then this answer is perfectly acceptable. But I’m going to imagine that for 98 percent of you, your job isn’t all you do. At least I hope it’s not.

Before I stopped to really consider this question, I would have answered with this:

“I’m a production assistant at ESPN Radio. I basically help out with all of our shows and make sure the show staffs have everything they need to make the shows as good as they possibly can be.” (Obviously it’s more complicated than this, but I have to simplify it to make it more digestible for my audience)

Now, if someone were to ask me this question, I’ll answer with something like this:

“I do a lot of things, really. I exercise a few days a week and always make sure I’m staying active. I like going grocery shopping and cooking and eating that food because I find the whole experience very satisfying. I go on adventures in nature all of the time. I often find cool cafes and taverns and order a beverage and then read, write, or people-watch. I spend a huge chunk of my week at ESPN helping produce some radio shows. I communicate with my friends and family and I watch a lot of sports.

For the first answer, unless you’re a sports radio junkie, you’re probably going to respond with a generic follow-up question. I’ll answer it, and you’ll forget what I said five minutes later. Then I’ll do the same for you. We have now exchanged the pleasantries society expects from us, and we’ll go have an eerily similar conversation with another person.

But for the second answer, do you see how far I buried the part about ESPN? It’s because my job isn’t the bane of my existence. It doesn’t define me. If I could get paid for those activities before it, I’d leave ESPN in a heartbeat.

I think there’s so many directions our conversation can now take us. And it can become such a more meaningful and deliberate conversation. Maybe you’ll suggest a craft beer for me to try, and then we go off on a tangent about different beers and we hit it off. You never know.

To get happier and to live a meaningful life, the change starts with you and your mindset. I’ve always believed that if you don’t like the way something is going, it is completely within your power to change it. You can change the way you look at things. You can change how you think about the words you’re saying, or supposed to say. Ask yourself more questions and begin to question the standards and what’s “normal.” Only then will you discover more about who you truly are.